Quote:
Sometimes life is like a chandelier,Lookin' like it's gonna drop on your head
But you may very well know,
That it's safe up there lookin' nice and pretty :)
I have no idea what I just said, >_< but I guess it's something like when you think all is lost and you're just waiting and preparing for the time where everything is just gonna crumble and fall...on you...
However it seems like it's just gonna dangle there till you realise that it's not going to go anywhere near snapping and falling. I guess it just reached its limit =)
Quite ironic and relieving really. Very unexpected =)
Anyway it comes and it goes. And for once I really stopped and just took a long look..even daring to take a whiff of the roses.
And it's not that bad =D
I mean...the ache is there, everyday, not for others but for my own regret, but yet that ache just gives me
comfort. To know that everything isn't over. And Abba is still there looking after me, praise God. <3
Every time I look forward, I tend to stumble back a little more. And I really hope and pray that this will just go away someday. That's why I still can't get over my fears. Cause' I know I'm just gonna stumble back a little more. But heck, "gotta get through this ;)"
And it's no joke that I have to squeeze every ounce of energy in me just to get back up. Every time. Every day. Every moment. >_<
But I learned one thing though, when you really hit rock bottom, (or just closer to Hell) -at first the ache and pains make you just wanna end it there or go back to old ways that you try to avoid- but soon it numbs, till you get tired of the ache and even though it's still there you'd think "psshh...Let's just get through this."
And somehow as you're climbing back up, everything starts to matter to you. Good or bad, it just does. Even if it's just laughing or singing to yourself cause it makes you happy. =)
And in the end, all you wanna do is just Be contented...even if it seems impossible, but well for me, I got nothing else to lose. :)
I'm happy. I enjoy doing crazy things and singing till my heart drops.
I love driving around at night just to 'have a drink' with some pals cause they make me feel special.
I'm contented that the roof I'm living under is slowly mending....even though it crumbles 2x more on some days, albeit I just laugh it off and leave it to Abba =D
I love God, and I love the times where I'm at church and I feel the most calming serenity coursing through me, making me not wanting to leave the place.
I love every single moment I live for, I love the view I see (who cares if it hurts XD) and I'm glad that in every breath I take, it counts.
Anyway, back to the chandelier, haha. It seems dangerously low, and I always get the feeling that in any moment, one touch makes it all tumble down. But it doesn't, it doesn't even move. It remains as a pretty little thing, hanging on a single chord, giving every one that passes by the shine and sparkle it has been admired for.
Try to relate that to life. I mean, you don't know what's up ahead, and in between the lines we get too caught up in taking risks and chances while trying to protect our own dignity and reputation. Sometimes we go too far that..like the chandelier..we tend to think..okay..one more fling or touch and it's gonna go KABOOM o.o Ahh But we don't =) It may seem like it, but heh, we don't.
For all we know is that in the end, God has something great for all of us, and it's gonna give out the shine and sparkle we have always dreamed of.
It's something I learned the hard way, but heck I'm glad. =) My road's windy but I'm so looking forward to see what God has in store for me ahead. <3
And That my friend, Is the best feeling to have in any situation. =D
Sigh, and yet sometimes, when I think everything's okay, I see something which just makes me go back to square one. And there is the journey of going up that brick wall, climbing to the top, making it, and trying my very best to maintain myself before I fall again. This process will eventually repeat itself for quite awhile. But I can't say that I mind =) Cause it's my way to carry ^^
Anyway I shall leave it at that. And I Will be happy! =D
Adios~Labels: Happy, heartache, joy, strength, truth
